Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2006, at 1:51:53
In reply to Re: a good match... » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2006, at 1:38:14
I found the courage to say:
'What are we doing in therapy
I mean... What is the point?''That is a really good question
What do you think we are doing?'<cringe. how to be diplomatic>
Patterns... There are patterns
And I keep playing them out
over and over and over and over<cringe. how can she be diplomatic?>
Refocus on how the problem manifests in the present
Throw in the word 'projection'
I'm afraid to go out because I don't have a secure baseOkay.
Then a half hour lecture to fill in the rest of the time
<cringe. this isn't working. how to be diplomatic?>
I can't say what I need to say because I don't trust that she can contain it. I can't say what I need to say because I don't trust that she can see her way through and over it.
I can't say what I need to say because I don't trust that she can distinguish my sensitivities from my sh*t.
I can't say what I need to say because... She doesn't understand.
I don't mean that she doesn't understand because she hasn't been there.
I mean that she doesn't understand because... Because she needs to talk and she needs me to listen. And I don't need a lecture on the way things are. I don't need her to teach me anything. I just need her to shut the hell up. I just need her to go away. She isn't helping. She isn't helping.I can't attach to her and she isn't helping. And there it is.
And she is oblivious because she doesn't understand about attachment.
About how my heart is cold.
I need to tell her next week that I don't think things are working out.
How to tell her diplomatically in a way she will understand?
I don't think things are working because...
I don't feel attached to you?
I don't trust you can hold my feelings?
I don't trust you can be solid?
I don't trust that you can distinguish sh*t from sensitivities?I can't say any of this... She won't understand. She won't understand. That is the problem.
What can I say?
I would like to work with someone else.
Why?
What can I say?
I need to be diplomatic because... It will largely be up to her reccomendation and whether anyone takes me will largely be up to her reccomendation.
I could ring and ask to talk to the lady in charge. I've met her. She is nice. No sh*t. She is okay. I think I could work with her. Once we have worked through the typical 'I don't do that' nonsense. But if I'm seen to have gone over her head then I could be labelled a 'troublemaker'. You know... Getting staff to split and stuff.
Sh*t.
What am I going to do?
Make an appoitment to see her and try and explain...
What?
Any ideas?
poster:alexandra_k
thread:686478
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/688605.html