Posted by Racer on September 9, 2006, at 1:03:24
In reply to bye to counsellor ***SI trig, posted by ElaineM on September 8, 2006, at 22:13:46
Oh, I'm so sorry, Elaine. That's enough to suck the chrome off anyone's bumper. (I have no idea what that means, but it sounded severe enough to fit...)
I went through something similar a couple of years ago -- in my case, a nightmare of a therapist who traumatized me badly enough I still have nightmares about her. (Literally -- waking up shaking and sweating and too anxious to get back to sleep. And a lot of my current anxiety is STILL directly related to her.) I worked so hard to try to find a solution, to find a way out, to have SOMEONE out there hear me.
And I know how exhausted I felt, how limp and wrung out I felt, every time I reached another dead end trying to get help. It does seem like a cruel cosmic joke that we only seem to have to do these things when we are least able to, doesn't it?
You'll notice, though, that I'm still here. And I've got a great T, who cares about me within the appropriate boundaries. I still go through periods such as the one I'm in now when I'm anxious or depressed or just plain nuts. And I still have crooked legs and an ingrown toenail. But I'm still here, able to see and think and laugh and care about you.
I hope CC will be able to find someone. Truth is, it's likely to be hard, but it's not impossible. I hope that CC will make the effort. If not, let us know. If the Babblers mobilize on your behalf, SOMEONE will have The Right Suggestion on how to find someone ot help you.
I found my wonderful T even after being told, in so many words, "You won't find anyone. You know why no one will see you? No one will see an adult with anorexia, because anorexics DIE." Thanks, lady -- maybe anorexics die because no one will see them? It is possible.
For what it's worth, I strongly urge you to find a feminist T. Best chance you'll have to find someone to work with you.
Oh, and while I know it's not this simple -- you don't have to hurt yourself. You don't deserve it, no matter who does it to you. You deserve to be comforted and cared for.
Crying ain't so bad, either. I do that all the time when I'm in a state like this. But I hope you find some sunshine tomorrow.
poster:Racer
thread:684345
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/684385.html