Posted by llrrrpp on September 7, 2006, at 8:58:11
In reply to Re: twisted but mebbe a better way to SI**TRIGGer » llrrrpp, posted by muffled on September 7, 2006, at 0:00:22
you crack me up muffled!!
time friction and tumbling around. Don't you HATE that?!?! The worst is when I sincerely mean to communicate: "it's fine, I'm tired, I didn't even really feel like it anyways!" This seems to make him even more determined. Where's the romance?LoL!
************
Your T says to consider the
Big picture. how are you going to do that? can you rehearse some mental script? likeMy name is muffled, I have a family, and people who love me and care about me. I have owned this body since I was a wee child. I will live in this body until the end of my time. I need this body to do things like play with my family, get me to the store, and get me to my T appts. I will need this body to take care of my mind and help me heal. I will save this body for the days when I feel better, and together we will do nice things for me.
I love my X (eyes? smile? hair? shoulders? height? cheekbones? cute little mole? skin color? eyelashes? [whatever, you fill in the blank], and if I hurt myself, then I hurt my parts that I love too. This body is shared between my younger parts, and my older parts, my childlike parts, and my world-weary parts, my innocent parts, and my angry parts. I can find better ways of communicating my emotions of the moment by using words on a paper, rather than scars on my flesh. Scars on my flesh will only scare the child, the innocents, and it's not fair to them. If I use words, I can maybe help the child and the innocents understand my darker parts, and my fears. If I use words, I can express myself, rather than numb myself. If I use words I can get it out, rather than keep it in. If I use words I can let go, rather than clench.
I found that writing on myself helps. I can take a marker or pen and write words on my arm, or wherever. I can draw a tattoo. I can do all of these things, and then the day after I can hope to send it away with some soap and water, but not before reading, and trying to understand.
I can also use writing to prevent my attacks on my favorite exposed parts. right now I have a "C" on my left inner arm. This reminds me of a dear friend, and is a symbol for a promise to keep myself safe.
Muffled, I don't know how to advise you, I'm not so experienced with the SI thing. All I know is that it's a coping mechanism. I have a different one for fear, and a different one for anxiety/boredom. The fear SI I haven't done in 2 months now, but the a/b one I do almost daily. I try to make it harder to do, but it's such a struggle.
(((((((((muffled))))))))))
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:683542
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/683924.html