Posted by cricket on December 12, 2005, at 12:39:11
The honesty.
Chipping away at issues.
Poking and prodding each other ever so gently.
“This is what I think.”
“Is this what you’re saying?”
The “I understands”
The “Yes, I know what you mean.”
The ability to come back, to clarify, to re-think
The chance to look at other perspectivesWhen I logged in and saw all the posts about sex and therapists, it was amazing.
It seemed like a bunch of archaeologists very gently blowing away dust to see what lies underneath.
Once in a while someone cannot be encouraged to do the same gentle digging, but as I’ve seen these last few days that is the exception.
You are an amazing bunch of insightful, thoughtful, honest people.
I am inclined to let the subject drop because I think we all must be tired of it. But all the honesty I’ve seen the last few days has made me want to share a little more about my own discomfort around the topic of sex and therapists.
And, please this post (like my last post that seemed to have started all this) is not a criticism of anyone or any kinds of posts. It is just sharing another perspective.
From the time I was a very young girl up until I started therapy four years ago, I have never had a non-sexual relationship (except for my son). I’ve never had a relationship with a woman at all and all my relationships with men were sexual. No friends, no buddies, no pals, just lovers. Sex was the only way I knew how to interact with the world and in that self-perpetuating circle way, it seemed that the only way the world wanted to interact with me was through sex.
Then I started therapy and for the first time in my life someone cared about what I thought, what I felt, how I perceived the world and my place in it. For the first time someone didn’t care about how I look or how well I perform a particular sex act.
It was the most baffling, astonishing, de-stabilizing thing.
But now, I’ve grown to rely on it. Even though I will admit to having sexual feelings for my therapist from time to time (a lifetime of thinking that’s all I’m good for is hard to overcome) it would break my heart in a million pieces if at this point my therapist ever approached me sexually.
poster:cricket
thread:588343
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/588343.html