Posted by Racer on August 15, 2005, at 18:46:17
In reply to Rumination journal, posted by alexandra_k on August 14, 2005, at 19:49:04
Take the negative ruminations a little farther.
I tried all sorts of "let's look at this more realistically" exercises, with no luck at all. I could do all the rational thinking in the world -- and still *feel* just as negative and frightened as when I began. It didn't stop that at all, so I'd keep on with the negative ruminations.
Then, one day, I did to myself what I do to my mother when she's stuck in AnxiousRuminationVille: I took it a little farther, and a little farther, and just a bit farther still... If I take the negative ruminations far enough, I'll eventually end up with something so ridiculous that I have to laugh at it -- which reduces the fears.
Right now, my big rumination has to do with the complaints I've filed against The Agency In Search Of A Clue. For instance, I just found out last week that I'll have to go in and be interviewed by the head of the County department that regulates them. That's scary, for a number of reasons, including the fact that I've gained so much weight I can't stand to be seen -- and CERTAINLY don't look anorexic. (I'll be taking pictures, which means that they'll see snapshots of me in my undies. Scary, you know?) This isn't necessarily a negative rumination, per se, but it's still taking me to AnxiousVille, as you can imagine.
This sort of ruminating, though, I think has its place: I get to "practice" for when I go in and speak to them. I go over in my mind what might be said, what might be the most frightening thing about it, what I can do to increase my confidence and poise, etc. Because of those factors, I don't consider it a Bad Thing, necessarily. As long as it is still increasing my confidence in my ability to get through it. As soon as I start to feel MORE anxious, or out of control, or hopeless, I start making it more ridiculous. Maybe I'll take it to SillyVille: me showing up in my jammies, with my old teddy bear or something like that. Perfectly dressed -- but my shoes don't match. Getting lost and being late. Whatever. Or finding out taht I used to date the guy I have to show the pictures to. But whatever it might be, I find the whole process of catastrophizing useful, because all of the worst case scenarios end up with me surviving.
Hope that helps, Alexandra. I know, it might not have any relevance, but it's well meant irrelevance...
poster:Racer
thread:541703
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/542098.html