Posted by pinkeye on July 12, 2005, at 21:10:18
In reply to Re: For JenStar and Alex » pinkeye, posted by alexandra_k on July 12, 2005, at 20:33:37
I don't know why she is still with me.. I don't think there is anything that I am better at than her - she is more beautiful, richer, more talented, has better family background, smarter than me. I have been expecting her to ditch me for nearly 12 years now.. honestly, I had been expecting that once we finished college and she went to work, she wouldn't talk to me.. but she continues to do till today. And in fact claims that I am her only best friend.. And I have told her many times to find other people to talk to and to open up to other people.. but for some reason, she dosen't find herself being close friends with other people.
Maybe she has problem relating to people.. Many of our classmates used to avoid her, because at that time she was very arrogant, and rude and proud and wouldn't talk to people who had lesser grades.. So maybe that is why she stuck with me because I didn't mind it..and in fact she was never like that to me much.. a few times perhaps, but she always apologized to me and I didn't mind it much.. In fact I used to try to correct her many times on how to put words across.. But now she is not like that, and tries to open up more..
But it really is not just with her.. I always have this problem with many people.. Somehow I end up being very close to people who somehow magically end up being super smarts and from good families.. even though I don't want to, I always end up being thrown into people like that. I have really tried to avoid it. Even with my ex T - I initially liked him only because I thought he was normal.. I knew his family was somewhat prestigious, but I never really thought to this extent.. And I didn't know it for quite a long time.. I thoguht he was a very very ordinary guy for sometime. Only after much later, I realized he was not at all ordinary.. I was thinking like, "If I had known this, I wouldn't have even spoken to you..".. Same thing happened with another close friend of mine.. I had no clue that his family is full of ph ds and super smarts.. after more than a year of knowing him, he told me about his family in detail..
> Some people like to surround themselves with people who make the person feel better about themself. I'm not suggesting that your friend is like this. I'm just saying that quite a lot of people do this. Even if someone thinks they are better than you (which they aren't) then they might still like spending time with you if you ooh and aah and make the right noises and appear to be suitably impressed.
>
> > Maybe it is some self esteem problem..
>
> I think it is definately a self-esteem problem.
>
> >But it is really hard to live with all these high fi group of people. IT is really really hard.. especially if you are not one of them.
>
> And its that that makes me think that that is the problem. You are determined to compare yourself to them on things where you come up short. You are determined to see them as better than you.
>
> How about trying to come up with a list of qualities that you have that your friend doesn't have to such an extent.
>
> You have already noticed that she has a pressurised environment with respect to $$$. Thats got to impact on her marriage too.
> I wouldn't be happy under that much pressure :-(
>
>
poster:pinkeye
thread:526801
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/526915.html