Posted by alexandra_k on July 12, 2005, at 19:47:37
In reply to Re: Always having to deal with people much above me!!, posted by pinkeye on July 12, 2005, at 18:44:50
> But actually I feel many times like a fish out of the water..
Yeah, me too.
>It is really emotionally taxing to be with people who are all way above me - All the time - in work, among friends - it is really taxing. And I always feel like I have nothing to offer back..
Yeah. But then when you see them as being 'above you' then you already place yourself on a level below them and by the sounds of it that is what makes it so very hard. They aren't better than you you know. You are all just people...
> And certain things in work, come only from exposure and breeding.. Like how to present in meetings, how to talk to people, and talking in social gatherings in company - well I feel, I almost have nothing to contribute to..Yeah. A lot of it really is about exposure / environment though. You can learn all of that. What makes it hard for me is that I haven't had a lot of the experiences they have. With travel. With family. It can make it hard to relate and really very hard when they ask me about myself or try the usual social chit chat. But as they get to know you... Your personality shines thorough :-)
>I don't really know too much about anything else. People seem to like me in work - but I always mostly keep quite and just mind my own business..
Maybe they like you because you are a nice person and you aren't overly opinionated.
>I don't socialize much, because I don't know what to talk. And I always feel kind of like a 2 nd grader amongst a bunch of college grads frankly. They all seem way above me..
Sounds like low self-esteem to me...
> Like last week, my best friend was talking about her cousin visiting her from UK, how she is going to do her college in Oxford, how some big company is going to sponsor her studies.. And week before that, her another cousin was jsut promoted to being a director in a bank, and he is dealing all this multimillion dollar deals.. And this is the friend I speak to everyday and she has been my best buddy for nearly 12 years..Yeah. I'm kind of used to people trying to talk themselves up. But it is hard when you realise that they aren't trying to talk themselves up: they are just telling you about their lives. I'm a bit like that with one of my office mates. I just can't believe that she really doesnt' have to lift a finger for the rest of her life with her trust fund. The options she has... The opportunities she has... But that being said she strikes me as fairly aimless... Too many opportunities too much freedom not enough direction she can afford to be half hearted about everything. She doesn't work terribly hard. But then she doesn't need to. She doesn't know what she wants to do. But then she doesn't need to do anything. She isn't passionate about anything.
>vice presidents, directors, multi millionaires, and here I am - with practically nothing to offer her back.
What does being a vice president, a director, a multi millionaire have to do with being a good friend? What does it have to do with being able to listen? To have a little fun with her? With being a nice person. Nothing. Nothing at all.
> I have this problem with many people.
Sounds like self-esteem to me...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:526801
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/526888.html