Posted by Tamar on May 6, 2005, at 3:29:27
In reply to how to get it out?, posted by B2chica on May 5, 2005, at 11:27:26
> the thing is, there's something that i've remembered that happened when i was very young. it's been haunting me. i think i need to just get it out there but i'm scared.
> i've never even said it outloud to myself. i'm afraid that once it's 'out there' and someone else knows...that it will just make things unliveable.
> i wish it wasn't there. the thing is i feel like i brought it on. i feel like a dumb stupid @#$, why did i let it happen, why didn't i stop it, and why do i really need to say it.You are definitely not a dumb stupid @#$. Ovbiously I don't know what the situation was, but when you ask those questions it seems to me that the answer is: you didn’t stop it because you weren’t able to, for all sorts of reasons. It wasn’t your fault. You were very young.
> i still can't even say it here, how can i say it in session?
> Poet. where are you.
> how did you say what you needed to say in your sessions? did your T pull it out of you or did you just 'say it'.I was in a similar situation a few months ago. I told my T there was something I wanted to tell him but I couldn’t say the words. We spent a couple of weeks preparing for it. And even when I thought I was ready to say it, I couldn’t. But eventually I did. And it was very hard, but I didn’t feel as bad as I expected to feel.
> how do you start. and there are SO many 'instances' surrounding it i feel like once it comes i could talk for a whole day...what if i need to. what if it coming out makes me suicidal???
Talk about those fears with your T. My T suggested that telling him about it would give me power over my experience, instead of letting it control my feelings. And in a way he was right. It’s still there, but I’m finding it easier to live with.
> what if i want to take it back and pretend no one knows, if no one knows maybe it didn't happen.
You might very well want to take it back. Lots of people do. Again, you can talk about those feelings with your T.
I had to start by saying it in my head, and then by writing it down. But that was only after I’d told my T that I wanted to talk about something.
(((((B2C)))))
I hope you find a way to get it started.
poster:Tamar
thread:494086
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/494379.html