Posted by B2chica on April 5, 2005, at 13:11:13
In reply to Re: suicidal ideation an addiction? *possible trigger*, posted by daisym on April 5, 2005, at 12:56:52
hey daisy.
>>'To have an "out" if needed'
-i know i've so much as said this to myself at times. i also like your word 'clutches' that's Exactly what it feels like! clutches that keep pulling me in telling me i'm past due, i'm supposed to be dead. other times it's like i mentioned-almost addiction? like the act need to happen.
>>Keep fighting these thoughts. Keep talking about them because I've found that they take over in a very scary way if you don't. It is amazing to me that you can be so split as to watch yourself considering this.my T has mentioned several times about splitting. unfortunately it scares me cuz i feel like i'm less and less able to do this and am getting 'caught up' in moments more and more.
it's scary.but as a side note. My T is great. i mentioned i thought i needed to see someone more than once a week and he suggested 3. it's great. i actually think i'm going to get through this. the weekends are hard. last sat. night i wanted to OD, but called hotline (turned out hotline was not for suicide-just my luck) and i ended up turning to SI, but i didn't od. and my T says his office has a 24hour number/pager or something-he tried to find it but couldn't so he'll give it to me tomorrow.
i literally feel like i might have a chance of getting through all this with him.thanks for your response daisym. you really seem to 'get it'.
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:480204
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050329/msgs/480219.html