Posted by fallsfall on August 13, 2004, at 12:04:59
Things have been really hard for me lately. And my therapist went on vacation for two weeks. I haven't posted much (and some of the posts I have done seemed, to me, to lack the tact that I try to put into my posts). But Babblers have been supporting me on the side, and for that I am so, eternally, grateful.
I've been having a lot of trouble with my 16 year old daughter. I finally got her into therapy, but the therapist wants to see us together - not her alone. She doesn't want to do that either...
Anyway, today's session with my therapist helped me come to the realization that I have a generic issue (*needing* to be understood in a particular way), but that the issue with my daughter is separate and needs a different solution. Basically, I can't *need* her to understand me in the same way that I *need* my therapist/parents/friends to understand me because I am the parent and she is the child. Our relationship is fundamentally different from my relationship with other people. I can't have (and don't want to have) the same expectations of her that I have of others.
So today, I can see that I have a general issue that we will deal with in therapy, and I have a second issue which is that I need to effectively parent my daughter. Separating them makes each feel so much more managable. Not that either will be easy...
I drove to my session this morning, and that seemed OK. I haven't been driving - stress had made my driving unsafe - I wasn't aware enough of things around me. I felt like I was driving like an 85 year old. But that seems better now. I won't drive when I don't HAVE to, but now I can do things like drive to therapy, take my daughter places (except she got her driver's licence yesterday!!! So now I only have to be her taxi when I'm not willing to let her use my car!), etc.
The world looks a little better today.
poster:fallsfall
thread:377191
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/377191.html