Posted by Dinah on July 9, 2004, at 14:28:25
In reply to Does your Therapist get mad at you?, posted by daisym on July 9, 2004, at 13:55:10
LOLOLOLOLOL
I suspect you already know the answer to this one from me! My therapist gets mad at me ****all**** the time. He used to try to cover and call it frustration. "I'm just frustrated that I don't see a way to help you with this." But he finally gave up and quit trying to deny or spin my quite accurate perceptions. Yes he does get mad at me. Yes, he yells. No, I don't like it. But no, it's not the end of the world. He's shifted from denying he ever gets angry with me to trying to teach me that people can get angry with each other without it ruining the relationship, and that anger expressed honestly and with a certain amount of sensitivity can strengthen a relationship because it makes it more authentic.
We must have one heck of an authentic relationship. :(
But on some level, I think he's right. I know when he's angry with me, so I'm not constantly wondering or worrying or obsessing that he's angry with me. If he's angry he says so. We talk about it. Usually one of us (ok, usually him) will understand the other person's viewpoint, and the anger will simmer down and be replaced with acceptance.
But on the other hand, I sometimes wish he wouldn't be angry *quite* so often. I mean, how authentic does a therapeutic relationship need to be? I do think in some ways it's reduced the safety I feel there, and disturbed the magic.
poster:Dinah
thread:364437
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040703/msgs/364445.html