Posted by Angel Girl on May 7, 2004, at 20:18:20
In reply to Re: What is it like to be bi-polar?, posted by toomuchpain on May 7, 2004, at 17:34:19
> bi polar affects me in so many ways ... it makes life alot more complicated .. my realitonships are always in turmoil .. and my moods are never predicteable ... it has interfered with my everyday life cus of the ups and down .. the meds i am on is nerurotion and lexapro and loreazapm .. the meds make me very sleepy and makes me eat alot which makes me more miserable .. is that what u were looking for or is it something else
> toomuchpain
Thank you toomuchpain and ghost for your repiles. My meds have kept the highs under controls and left me with depression which varies at any given time to different degrees, right now almost bottoming out.toomuchpain - can you please elaborate on what you mean by saying that your relationships are in turmoil? I have found that in the last week I have seemed to have sabatoged every single one of my friends to the point that they have left me. I feel very alone now and that depresses me more. I don't have any friends where I am, only what I 'had' on the net.
I don't work, I'm on LTD (a benefit from work) and have been since the end of 2001. I've tried the 'back to work' program several times but now have been off solid since May 2003. At this point I'm feeling in the last 2 years I am no further ahead in being able to function 'normally' than I was before. I feel like I've made no progress and the last 2 years have been unproductive. I feel my life is spiraling out of control in a downward motion and my depression deeping at a very high speed. My former friends think I'm manipulate, looking for attention, acting like a child and looking for pity. Of course, I don't see things the same. Maybe I'm delusional.
I'm currently taking the following meds:
750mg/daily Depakote
250mg/daily Lamictal
112.5mg/daily Effexor XR
150mg/daily of Klonopin
1.5mg/daily XanaxI feel that none of my meds is helping me at all and wonder if I need to get a second opinion by a different pdoc.
I'm just so very depressed, a lot more than I was 2 weeks ago, due to the loss of ALL my friends. Then I have my son and his girlfriend come into my apartment and find my apartment not maintanined (understatement) and know that I NEVER leave my apt except to go to the bank and grocery store.
Just looking to see how common my life is to others who are BP as well.
I don't want to get suicidal again and right now I'm just above that line due to the chaos that I have created in my life.
What is your reaction to this? Does any of it sound familiar or am I all alone here.
Angel Girl :(
poster:Angel Girl
thread:344489
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040503/msgs/344549.html