Posted by crushedout on May 4, 2004, at 15:06:54
In reply to Re: today's session was awful » crushedout, posted by fallsfall on May 4, 2004, at 14:55:09
Thanks, all, for your posts. I'm a bit too overwhelmed today to respond individually. At least not yet, anyway.I emailed my T twice today (for some reason I always email her in twos). The first one, I begged her to see me tomorrow if she had an opening, even though I think she would deny me just to punish me for the cutting or whatever it is she's mad at me about. I asked her not to do that. Then I emailed her again with Ilene's quote from the self-injury website, and asked her to hang in with me, that if I really wanted to sabotage our relationship, I wouldn't have told her that. (I think I'm telling you guys this story totally out of order -- I apologize.)
I'm afraid my emails will actually put her off and push her further away. I'm feeling pretty terrified of being abandoned right now, and usually my response to such terror just makes the abandonment more certain. I'm afraid that's what's going to happen here.
I'm at work now. Have to focus on the kids. I'll try to be in open tonight around 7:30, or maybe a little later, if anyone wants to look for me there. I'll definitely need the support.
Thanks to every one of you. Really.
poster:crushedout
thread:341578
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040503/msgs/343287.html