Posted by spoc on April 22, 2004, at 21:11:56
In reply to Re: Sex abuse - effect even if not realized?, posted by Beta on April 19, 2004, at 20:49:06
Hi Beta,
I definitely agree it seems very likely that there must be long term effects in a lot of cases. Was your PTSD diagnosis based in part on that aspect of what you have been through? It sounds like it's been a long, tumultuous road for you, and thankfully you're finally in a place to start figuring things out and seeking some peace.
As people on this thread have stated, there is no "ok" instance or episode of abuse. I tend to minimize my situation because from what I am conscious of anyway, all together it was a matter of days rather than ongoing. And, it's hard not to discount it on the grounds that I hear about much worse not only on that count, but also as far as specifically what happened. Who they were was probably at least half as bad as it gets though. I don't mean to rate things and how the individual is impacted no matter what actually happened is obviously the biggest factor. It's automatic for me sort my situation out this way, I hope it doesn't offend anyone -- I do so in reference to myself only. I have a big tendency to come back to thinking I deserve to feel bad or damaged by nothing in my past.
Of the problems I have ended up having (some of which, as I said, were developing prior to the incidents), none seem related to my opinion of men or relationships. In that realm my problems affect only my own ability to feel *I* can live up (and *not* meaning feeling I'm not good enough). But that came largely from a healthy relationship I "unexpectedly" stumbled into in my 20s, that took me off the classic road I was otherwise on (of being attracted to people who would treat me badly). But all that is oversimplifying I'm sure.
I have no idea what I think or what I'm saying! I do need to seek therapy for other things, so I will try to make it a point to cover this too. Actually I did mention it in a recent short-lived, mismatched therapy attempt (which turned out to be psychoanalysis without me knowing it). Being very uncomfortable, I tested the water by glossing over one of the incidents. As always he just sat there, never asked a question or reacted, and it never came up again. I have told maybe one other person in my whole life about this and had felt ridiculous bringing it up in the first place, so his reaction served to confirm for me that I shouldn't have and it must have somehow looked bad that I did. But I'll try to try again someday.
All the best to you with the counseling you are starting; post back about any insights you get if you can!
poster:spoc
thread:336255
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/338978.html