Posted by crushedout on January 15, 2004, at 9:00:15
In reply to Re: Ok Ladies, Listen UP!!!! » crushedout, posted by Karen_kay on January 14, 2004, at 21:38:25
Yes, that was me with the CD.The point is not whether it was a come-on (I also don't think it was). The question is whether he was within professional boundaries, which are designed to help you. I can see his reasons for doing it, but I also think he could have achieved the same goals (as Emmy said) without divulging his sexual fantasies, which is really unprofessional.
I think it gives you false hopes. And you keep saying that he wasn't thinking about you, and you don't even want to sleep with him, which is great, but then you turn around and say, "I hope he's thinking about me..." It sounds like this could screw with your mind a little. And it already has. And even if it doesn't, he took a huge risk of screwing with your mind, which is not a good idea. He knows you've had feelings toward him.
Also, why on earth did he have to say "I am cute"??? That's just weird.
I'm sorry to criticize your T, Karen. I know I get defensive of mine, too. But it really doesn't matter what I think. If I'm wrong, then just ignore me.
> think: to have as an intention
> fantasize: to indulge in reverie : create or develop imaginative and often fantastic views or ideas; or to portray in the mind.
>
> Now, I'm not big on literal meanings at all or anything like that, but he's not actually thinking about having sex with me or another client, he's merely fantasizing about it. And he never once hinted at or mentioned me. I was never given the impression that he would ever think about me, and I assure you I don't have a low self image, can't you tell by my posts :)(I rather hate it when people get all technical on me...I'm sorry to do this...Please forgive me...)
> I must say I was a bit jealous when your therapist gave you that cd (Oh, I hope I'm right here, that was you right?). I too don't mind inappropriate. I'm rather inappropriate at times. Well, come to think of it, most of the time :) It's not that I'm defending his behavior. It's just that I don't necesarily see it as inappropriate, in my eyes. He swears about as frequently as I do as well. Is that bad? Boundaries vary from therapist to therapist and I would guess from client to client and I appreciate his honesty and straightforwardness (is that one word? :) I need to start using the spell checker!) in this situation. I sincerely didn't take it as a come-on of any sort. And trust me, I take a glance as a come-on!
poster:crushedout
thread:300720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/301076.html