Posted by naiad on January 2, 2004, at 8:35:56
In reply to Re: OK, what do you all think of this??? » dragonfly25, posted by Elle2021 on January 2, 2004, at 7:59:28
"If I experienced erotic transference, I would automatically try to become "Perfect," and my problems would disappear."
THere is certainly that element of conflict. Get good therapy vs. get the Therapsit! Even though I tried to put my best self on display for my T because of the erotic transference, that didn't last for long. I couldn't keep up the mask.
I guess the reason I haven't terminatd is because I think I'm suppossed to be getting a benefit. So far the only one I can identify is that even though I long to have a romance with him, I have accepted that I cannot. I hate getting nothing back from him. Transferance comes in this way -- I never got the love from my mother that I wanted. My T is like her in that no matter how perfect I make myself try to be, I STLL get nothing back (at least not what I want)...the new news is that I understand on a visceral level how hurtful that is. Even though I have been aware of how I experienced my mother's parenting style as being cold and withholding, I didn't know how I felt about it. I didn't understand how painful it was. Unfortunately, having made this link has not made me feel much better about my life.
I am still in therapy 101 -- trying to figure out how to be a human. So hard.
poster:naiad
thread:294830
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040102/msgs/295669.html