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Re: the blame game (kinda long) » thewriteone

Posted by Dinah on November 18, 2003, at 21:08:51

In reply to the blame game (kinda long), posted by thewriteone on November 18, 2003, at 20:35:17

I have that problem *all* the time. And the only way I've found to help it is to be completely honest. You're not blaming anyone. (Well, maybe you feel angry, but it doesn't have to come out as blame.)

The wonderful thing about therapy is that it is a relationship where you not only *can* but are *supposed to* tell each other how you are affecting each other. So there is absolutely nothing wrong with telling her when you feel hurt. Or mentioning how long it took you to get past the feelings that overwhelmed you.

I too get where I can't really hear anything after I get upset, and I can't say what I'm feeling at those times. We've tried to work out a signal that conveys the problem I'm having, but I can never remember to give it when I'm flooded with emotions.

Just hang in there, be honest, and if she's a decent therapist, you'll work through it. But for her to help you, she'll have to know how affected you are.

Good luck, and remember, this is what they do. She won't be distressed by what you tell her.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:281011
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031114/msgs/281026.html