Posted by Pfinstegg on September 24, 2003, at 22:21:21
In reply to I really don't want to talk about this, posted by HannahW on September 24, 2003, at 21:10:37
Hi Hannah..it's good that you're aware that the initial attempt to be a casual friend, and go out for coffee, is still affecting the way that you feel about her in sessions. I think you do have to discuss it, but there's also the larger question of whether you feel she is a good, empathic fit with you. Having had a poor fit with a previous therapist before my present analyst, with whom I am really "well-fitting", I do think it is crucial. I am embarrassed to admit that I remained for FOUR years with the previous one, even though I really knew something wasn't as it should be. I can't explain why I did that- it was as though I HAD to make it work.
The whole question of how one feels leaving a session: many times, I think, everyone does feel very shaken and upset, but I think that most times one should feel, not necessarily good, but that we are doing the right work in the right way with our therapists. It might have been stressful as hell, but it should also have some feeling of hope and rightness about it.The hardest times occur, for those of us who dissociate, when we have done just that, and don't have a self capable of relating to the therapist at that moment- leaving after those sessions can be excruciatingly lonely. From what you have said, it doesn't sound as though dissociating is an issue, at least for now- making a deep and meaningful connection to her is obviously paramount, as it should be when you are beginning therapy. You know I am always saying to follow your gut instincts- and you can see that I wish I had followed my own advice a lot sooner!
Pfinstegg
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:263065
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/263082.html