Posted by Ilene on July 14, 2003, at 16:10:40
In reply to Re: Forever therapy » Ilene, posted by fallsfall on July 14, 2003, at 15:19:55
> My new therapist was asking how often I am in contact with my family and asked if I thought that was "normal". I said that was how it was when I was a kid, so it seemed normal to me.
"Normal" is a Gaussian distribution, anyway.
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> Intellect is wonderful, but it does make us see and react to the world differently.From what? Is there a way we're "supposed" to see the world?
I found, in my CBT therapy, that I was pretty good at using the skills (activity scheduling, I use the questioning technique that gets you to look deeper at the problem with my friends all the time - and myself occasionally, recognizing cognitive distortions (but not changing them), my brain is uncooperative, I know there are more).
I can do that too. It doesn't change how I feel anymore.
I never did changing your emotions by changing your thoughts. It always seemed like lying to me - Feeling sad. Think happy [no, I'm sad]. Maybe I'm just too stubborn. I won't believe anything just because someone said so - I have to think it through and see if _I_ think it is true.
I've had bad results doing the things that were supposed to help. Like exercise. I'm skeptical to the point of being a contrarian.
By now I am angry that I have to go through this.
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> I have no idea if my new therapist will be able to go below my intellect.A sub-intellectual?
I'm hoping that since he'll be dealing with some unconscious material that maybe there will be some kind of advantage. It sounds good when I read about it. This is my idea, nobody else's, so it could very well be total baloney. All I know is that I needed a change, and Psychodynamic is a pretty big change from CBT.
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> I suffer more from a lack of emotions (or emotions that are suppressed). I have made some progress just by being more aware of them and encouraging myself when I do figure out what is going on. Emotions are weird.Emotions are sure hard to pin down. They are either uncooperative or spitefully mute. Wish they would learn English....Asberger's?
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> For fun I read psychology books. Not "The Feeling Good Handbook", but "A Primer of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy for the Borderline Patient".I search PubMed and troll the internet for full-text psychiatry and neuropsychopharmacology journal articles.
When my therapist asked what kind of books I read I said "The kind of books you would read" he didn't believe me until I gave him a title. I've decided that they make me feel optimistic because they are always talking about therapists fixing the problems.
There's some literature about evidence-based psychology, but I haven't gone after it. Yet. If I'm going to spend time and money on something I want an idea of how well it works.
I keep looking for my problem in the books, but I haven't really found it yet. I figure if I know enough that I can work alone on the days I don't have therapy, and we'll get done much faster. My old therapist didn't want me reading the books, she thought it made me spend too much effort on therapy and not enough on life.
You mean--you have one?
She was probably right. But I did introduce her to DBT (and she is a congitive/behavioral therapist - it is THE treatment of choice for Borderline Personality Disorder currently, and it's based on CBT).
The dialectical-whatever? Are you borderline?
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> It is very hard to say to a doctor "I understand a lot more than you think I do, so please use the technical words, and let me participate in the decision making". First, they don't believe you. Second, it really challenges their ego. Good luck with your new pdoc.The ego thing is a real barrier. When I ask, "How do you know that?" they think I am challanging them instead of asking a question because I want to know the answer.
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> We're alone, but I really believe that I can find people to share all of my traits with - not in one person, but maybe 10 people combined could make me feel like someone knows what the pieces are like.
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> When do you see your new pdoc?I hope the new pdoc is just supposed to be a consult. I don't know if I will see him until September. I'm going away on Thursday.
I.
poster:Ilene
thread:220332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030711/msgs/241817.html