Posted by violette on August 26, 2010, at 20:09:05
In reply to Re: trapped » ed_uk2010, posted by Maxime on August 26, 2010, at 16:46:52
Maxime, I also recently had feelings of being a burden to society and not wanting to exist..in fact, I used those exact words on a therapy forum just a few days ago.
They got extreme this week, in between therapy sessions, the most difficult week I ever went through so far. It's usually related to turning anger-pent up, long held anger, against yourself because you saved it up for so long as during childhood, it is too painful or scary to feel or express that anger towards the parent (or S.O.) who you loved and depended on...after turning anger against yourself for long enough, it buildes and eventually feels like a need to 'self destruct, destroy yourself' (not exist).
But you know what-the extreme urges to not exist feelings only lasted a day or so, then went away, and I came out much better than I was before I felt them..though now have to learn how to deal with letting myself feel anger, which was released as a result...
Your feelings will be relieved too. Those states can last longer or shorter, any length of time is very painful, but they are by no means permanent. I don't know what works best for you, but maybe if you directed anger at something-think of anything that annoys you, and vent it here or anywhere; in your thoughts or in words...I'm not talking hitting pillows here. Try to release some anger away from yourself by directing it something that find angers you. People who abuse animals; conservatives, liberals, whatever you can find to get angry about. You could get some relief if you were able to arouse angry feelings at something other than yourself.
Your situation is NOT hopeless, you will not feel this pain forever...These feelings CAN be relieved. They are temporary-and you will get relief....please realize this.
poster:violette
thread:958963
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100821/msgs/960067.html