Posted by alchemy on December 1, 2009, at 18:33:18
In reply to Re: ECT or wait in hell? to alchemy, posted by Meltingpot on December 1, 2009, at 12:28:48
Of course I don't mind.
I started my unipolar depression around puberty, but it was also kind of agitated depression. So that sort of puts me in the bipolar II category. Because I started on SSRIs at such a young age that probably induced a little cycling as I became older. I have never had a day I haven't wanted to die. But I have been able to struggle to maintain a job and have friends.
I went through two extreme every-minute-miserable black holes. They were both induced from med trials (one was a Adderall & Abilify, and the other was from Geodon).
These are some words I wrote:
- still freaked-out doom feeling, crazy/stuck. hard to do anything, but agitated to do something
- absolute mess- anxious/agitated/ mixed state w/ loneliness.
I'm not a fan of my mom, but I cried in her arms forever.I couldn't work and I went on disability for a few weeks. I initially went to the hospital & they tried me on lithim, which seemed to increase my agitation and anxiety. I left the hospital and then decided to try outpatient ECT shortly after.
I think I was so desperate that it didn't make me that nervous.I responded in only about 5-6 treatments.
After (only lasted a couple of weeks):
-want to do things
-want to interact w/ people & friends
-want to make other people feel good
-extra creative energyI think my cognition was ok prior to the ECT, but darkness definitely overshadowed everything.
I had unilateral. I don't think they usually do bilateral anymore. And for some reason my induced seizures are longer than normal.
There was a young man who was in a catatonic state and would shuffle in drooling with his mother. He also responded to getting back to normal.
What is strange for me is that ECT seems to only really benefit me when I am REALLY bad. I have tried maintenance, but that doesn't seem to be worth it. I will add that I know of a nurse that gets a monthly "zap" to keep her afloat.
I did have a few times that I would get my ECT treatment in the morning and then go to work. (of course I didn't drive though).
My med course? Before ECT: a lot of SSRIs, Effexor Wellbutrin, Zyprexa, Trileptal, Serzone, Seroquel, and maybe some others.
Currently I am on Lamictal, Xanax, Synthroid, and Celexa. I also just recently tried replacing Wellbutrin with some tricyclic that starts with a D.
My ECTs were a few years ago and I'm 38 right now. I have pretty much tried anything. I still have times that I think about suicide. At least I am not as bad as I would be without meds though.Feel free to ask any more questions. ~thx
poster:alchemy
thread:927524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091127/msgs/927745.html