Posted by Anthonyg23 on May 26, 2009, at 23:02:41
I post here from time-to-time usually with questions about new meds that I've been given or interested in and I want to thank everyone for their honest advice. I've tried what seems to be everything (see list at bottom of this rant) and NOTHING has worked quite like Serzone. I'm 26 now, I took Serzone as my first AD med when I was 18 and it worked wonders - it changed my life. (4.0 in college, friends, women, job success, etc) ...The problem was is that I was taken off of it due to the "black box" warnings and have since gone through numerous meds with little success. Six months ago I was finally able to get my doctor to prescribe Serzone again. The problem was that it didnt work anything like it did before. In fact, it didnt work at all. I remember noticing a remarkable difference in my attitude and personality within a half-hour of taking Serzone It surely was not a placebo effect. So here I am, once again lost and pessimistic about the possibility of finding something that will help me.
Id describe myself as somebody with Anxiety, ADD, and Depression. Im not bi-polar but I do have moderate highs and lows as well as moodiness. With great practice Ive been able to hide it but Im also irritable, unsociable, and angry a lot of the time. I focus on the past and some of the mistakes Ive made (which admittedly arent fatal mistakes) I frequently daydream about being more successful, having more money, and having a better love life. Even though I know I dont love her or even want to be with her I still think about and miss the last real girlfriend that I had which was around 3 4 years ago. We only dated for around a year. Its crazy but Im an okay looking guy and I cant find a date to save my life. I try with woman and it they just dont show interest in me. I hide it but I cant help but compare myself to others my age and feel inadequate I put a lot of pressure on myself to be financially successful and prosperous. I sometimes look at couples that are together and just wonder why I cant just find somebody to be with.
Im starting to think that Im just an extremely unlucky person. Ive tried everything to change my life in a positive manner. Ive read books about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, positive thinking, and attitude. Ive also fallen into books/movies like The Secret and the like. Ive slept the correct hours and ate the correct foods and Ive taken what supposedly were the correct medications. The only way I can describe my battle with depression/anxiety is to put it like a heavyweight boxing match. I can battle in short spurts and win some rounds by using positive thinking, medication, exercise etc but in the end its not enough to win the fight. Its like putting a band-aid on a large wound. Day by day I have to put in maximum effort to thwart off being lethargic/angry/depressed and sometimes its just very tiring. Its starting to get to the point where Im almost giving-up and realizing that maybe this is just meant to be.
I graduated college a few years ago and I got a pretty decent job right away. I ended up getting my best friend a job with the company I worked. I stuck my neck out on a limb and made sure that he was taken care of. Well, a few months ago we got laid off and he ended up getting a really great job with high pay at another firm. Needless to say he never offered to ask his superiors to get me an interview. And, its the type of position where if you dont get in by word-of-mouth or referral you really have no shot. I have a DUI from five years ago (terrible mistake, I know) and if you know anything about jobs you know that they are serious about DUIs. Many places wont hire someone unless its been 7 years since the incident occurred. So, after months of searching for work I ended up taking a job making peanuts to pay the bills. Its been a tough pill to swallow I guess.
I understand that there are those with far worse circumstances than myself and I really do try to be thankful for everything I do have but sometimes I just get so upset about my current circumstances.
So thats my story. I guess Im just wondering if anyone has any suggestions that I can try for medication. Unfortunately I do need it. I just cant seem to find anything that impacted me like Serzone. Ive listed the meds Ive tried below.
Im on Paxil right now, its been about 4 days. I was on effexor before that
I dont have an addictive personality (no smoking, no drinking, no rx drug abuse).
Serzone - most effective med Ive taken
Effexor somewhat effective, cant really tell if it works or not, helps slightly w/ irritability.
Paxil nothing so far
Zoloft similar to Effexor, couldnt really tell if it was working
Lamictal nothing
Lexapro decent but again couldnt tell
Welbutrin similar to Effexor, Zoloft, could really tell
Provigil nothing
Generic Adderall does help with ADD
Cymbalta
VyvanseIve taken these combinations:
Effexor and Lamictal couldnt tell any changes
Effexor and Provigil couldnt tell
Effexor and Generic Adderall
Effexor and Vyvanse
Cybalta and Klonopin
Lexapro and Klonopin mild effectiveness, Klonopin seemed to calm me down a lot. Lexapro also seemed to work a little better than all the SSRIs Ive taken.SSRI's are just not extremely effective for me...
I have not taken Remeron, Nardil, or Parnate.
Feedback appreciated!
poster:Anthonyg23
thread:897851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090524/msgs/897851.html