Posted by Trotter on November 24, 2008, at 15:17:10
Slept 7 1/2 hours last night, had a normal dream before wakening, and woke up feeling .... NORMAL.
No euphoria, just normal. I thought, this is how I used to feel on waking up, many many years ago, before depresson took over. Nothing I can really put my finger on, but at the same time, totally different - JUST NORMAL. It must be an absence of depression. It is really weird. Nothing is really different, yet it REALLY IS DIFFERENT. Like a veil has been lifted, or someone has turned the main power circuit breaker back on after being on emergency power, or someone has plugged in a loose cable.
I do not sleep 7 1/2 hours (usually 5-6). I do not dream normally. I do not wake up feeling normal. I have suffered dysthymic depression for over 10 years, with bouts of major (double) depression.
I am not on any antidepressant since stopping Tianepine 4 weeks ago, which I only took for 4 weeks and did not help me. During last two weeks I have suffered the worst bout of depression in my life. Is this some sort of rebound? I am not bipolar. This is not mania, just normal.
If I was on a new antidepressant I would be feeling really great right now, thinking I might have found one that really works. Instead I am a bit frightened. I'm even thinking I may need to get a brain scan. You just don't wake up from 10 years of depression for no reason!
My logical brain says I am just having a rare good day and making a big thing about nothing. This is probably true. In fact 99% likely, but my experience this morning is VERY REAL, and I thought it worth reporting.
I know it is ridiculous to talk about remission from long term depression just because I wake up one morning feeling better. But believe me, to wake up feeling normal, is for me, just SO DIFFERENT, I feel anything is possible. Maybe I'm in remission. Maybe I have a brain tumour. Maybe I'm cured. Yeah, pigs might fly ...
My best guess as to what is going on is that it is some sort of temporary rebound effect brought on by a severe bout of major depression. Maybe when a major depression has run its course there is sometimes a blip where the brain rebounds from double depression, overshoots dysthymic depression, and allows one to feel normal for a short time, before settling back into dysthymia. Does this make sense?
Anyone got any inkling as to what might be going on?
Trotter
poster:Trotter
thread:865041
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20081123/msgs/865041.html