Posted by kotsunega on January 14, 2008, at 9:39:48
I was hypomanic with mild depressives episodes for years and years - those were the glory days when, most of the time, I felt like no problem could not be overcome; when I could achieve anything I set out to do. In college, I graduated with top honors. Then, in 1993, my son tried to commit suicide and the company I worked for closed its doors forever. I spiraled down into terrible mixed episodes, and when I found a new job, whatever I was doing (I still don't know what it was) really P.O.'d my boss and coworkers. I moved on to the next job, and the next, and the next, and the same thing kept happening. In my most recent job, my boss became so frustrated with me that during a department meeting, with a coworker looking on, he proceeded to tear me a new airway concerning my job performance. I didn't do anything I'm aware of to goad him into this tirade. I was so shaken, I asked for a 2 month FMLA leave, after seeing my pdoc that day on an emergency visit. We talked about permanent disability, and I am on pins and needles about the outcome for now I think if the permanent disability isn't granted, I will go back to work only to be on probation and then fired. Man, I wish I wasn't such a mental wreck. I long for those hypomanic days when I was at the top of my game. But I guess all I can do is mourn their demise, and accept that I am now a permanent waste mentally. My pdoc has tried me on every med out there, and the only one that works is zyprexa, 20 mg., along with wellbutrin, prozac, and lamictal, and for the ADD, I take adderall. I'm sick and tire of these disorders; sick and tired. Sigh.
poster:kotsunega
thread:806375
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080114/msgs/806375.html