Posted by utopizen on December 3, 2007, at 21:55:01
In reply to Re: Stimulants (was: Good calm vs. bad calm) » rgb, posted by Molitor on December 2, 2007, at 19:09:49
Linkadge:
I've seen your posts from quite awhile back. I honestly haven't been at this board for like 2 years, maybe a post here and there since then... but honestly, I think a lot of the side effects/what your doc may be trying to say is, "accept it, and be happy you AREN'T calm." (as in, that you aren't in need of an AP, etc.) --
because these things, like anxiety, actually are undesirable in some respects. Yeah, it's not likely you'll be associated with being Mr./Ms. Popular at school when you're anxious.
But I said once something about not having a girlfriend, while sort of begging for klonopin, back when I had social anxiety, and my doc said "Um, don't you want a girl who will accept you?"
You know what? I still take heart to that statement to this day. And guess what? Girls have actually accepted me. Some of the most beautiful girls in my school. Yeah, I'll admit, that was after I switched docs, and got Klonopin.... hehe...
but still, I don't take klonopin (doc gives it to me, but I don't take it...) and I'm kinda fine. If I weren't on a stim (desoxyn) I'd be superfine. Not anxious fine.
Desoxyn will make me anxious. If I don't take Desoxyn at work, though, I will be too fine. I will just Google all day. And I need to get paid.
So yeah. Whatever. I'm not suppose to be my super, psychological success story of an adapted self while at work. I'm suppose to get stuff done, so I prefer it. I also am not trying to hook up with girls while I fix their computers. So I don't care if I come off as anxious. Or if I do, I also don't care. Because they still like me. Because being anxious suggests someone's sensitive. And that's actually a desirable trait, not something to obsess over drowning out.
And yeah, I don't look for girls who are super smooth. I might not look for someone who looks like they're tweaking on their third day of a crack run, but, a little anxiety tends to be sorta cute ; )
anyway, if you haven't seen it: download/rent Thumbsucker. Seriously.
poster:utopizen
thread:795582
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20071125/msgs/798632.html