Posted by BabyBunny on June 26, 2007, at 16:30:51
Hey all. Yes it's me once again. LOL Boy I've been here a lot lately! :)
I have come to a decision because I have come to a conclusion. Hope that makes sense.
I have decided that when I see my New psychiatrist this Friday I am ONLY going to mention my History of Panic with Agoraphobia, Generalized Anxiety, Obsessive-Compulsive and Social Anxiety.
Not going to mention Bipolar or Borderline Personality Disorder. Or even any of the other things I have. Because I'm not even positive I have these things... Not anymore anyway.
The reason for all of this is that I have noticed something throughout the years and now since I have stopped the Depakote I was taking and that drugged me up so bad, I can think straight and also understand what others have been mentioning to me for a while.
I've now noticed that the ONLY time I feel moody or anything is when I'm anxious. Seriously. That's the only time! And when my anxiety is under control, I am able to lead a happy, normal, productive life!
Since starting the medication roller coaster about 1 1/2 years ago I haven't been able to function like before. That is, adding mood stabilizers and being diagnosed as most likely having Bipolar and/or Borderline Pers. Dis.
I have been unemployed for 2 years now and unable to hold a job because of my anxiety. I also have missed all but 1 Holiday with My Fiance's Family because of my anxiety and the way the mood stabilizers and antidepressants made me feel. Not to mention the numerous vacations we haven't been able to take all because of becoming more and more unstable with each passing day.
To be honest, I was better off with less medication. Well not entirely. I DO need my 3mg of Xanax XR a day and have been relying on 25-75mg of Seroquel to sleep as it's the only thing that works other than Zyprexa or Over-the Counter stuff like Tylenol PM.
I am living PROOF that sometimes less is more. I AM getting better with each passing day by listening to myself and playing Docotor and just saying no to all the mood stabilizers and antidepressants.
Unless of course you count Seroquel as a mood stabilizer but that supposedly only lasts 8-12 hours. And I even plan on going off that next. If I'm able because I am a post Gastric By[*ss Patient who never even lost 1/2 her weight and has since gained 30 lbs. And Seroquel is a known weight gainer. Don't want or need anymore!
I also want to mention that 1 Psychiatrist I saw told me something very interesting. He told me that the root of all my distress is fear (aka anxiety). Plain and simple. Not depression like I've been told for years.
He said that if we get a handle on that, I will be all right. Well the only problem is he prescribed me medications that apparently make most people calm... Well they made me go crazy with anxiety! And that's when I again started the Depakote. That's also when I slipped back into the fog and ONLY left the house for Doc appointments which 1/2 the time I had to cancel because I was too sick from the meds or too tired to function.
I knew that Depakote didn't agree with me and neither does Lithium but no one would give me anything but antipsychotics, Lamictal and Topamax. Which all disagreed with me (except for Invega... I dunno about that one as I wasn't on it long enough). No one would (or will) try me on Tegretol or Trileptal.
So as of now I claim only to have major anxiety problems! LOL At least to My new P-Doc. I've had MUCH more luck in the past when saying this than before the Bipolar or Borderline got thrown in there. Hopefully that one Doctor was right and this new one will listen.
Thanks for reading this long post. LOL That is if you're still here or awake. :) I just wanted to get that off my chest and also see what anyone has to say about it. I'm sure I will be scolded at least once but ya know what? It's ok. Only I know How I feel now and how I felt before. And I KNOW FOR A FACT I AM BETTER WITH LESS MEDS. And My Family and Friends (whom I'm starting to talk with again) will agree!
Take good care everyone and have a great day/night!
Hugs,
Baby Bunny
poster:BabyBunny
thread:765964
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070622/msgs/765964.html