Posted by dav on March 14, 2007, at 11:50:20
In reply to Re: Tianeptine » dav, posted by liliths on March 14, 2007, at 10:27:58
When I was at my lowest point I smoked a lot of cannabis along with taking my partialy effective regular antidepressant mirtazapine along with friends who smoked too. For months we used to get together and just smoke and have fun and laugh. This I believe really got me through some difficult times (alcoholic father and sister dying) and made me remember that life is worth living and the world can be a caring good place. I don't know what I would have done without that but I guess my depression would have been far worse. I have a bi-polar friend who takes cannabis daily and lithium and is now back at uni. Before he was off the rails and drinking himself to oblivion. I not saying cannabis is the answer but staying high for few months helped me a lot. Life and emotions aren't rationale and sometimes I just needed to get high, back then it was the best way to make me realise that whatever problems i had it was nothing as I was in bliss when high and for problems that can't be solved (other people or tragic events), ignoaring them (by getting high) and letting time solve them was the best solution.
> hi dav
>
> thanks for writing.
>
> oh, I've tried so many combinations, I've basically given up. Feels like I've tried just about everything at some time or another but honestly, most of the side effects alone offset any good. I'd end up on more pills to combat the side effects... it's ridiculous
>
> unfortunately, I've got a lot of external forces imposing their own depression & stress on me right now - it's hard enough when it's just coming from my brain but when everything in my life starts turning to crap, I just don't have the resources to fight anymore
>
> there are old threads about some of my battles with the state and I've got health problems I can't afford, friends have died... the list just seems to go on & on... too much bad stuff happening TO me, too much bad stuff happening around me, too much bad stuff happening INSIDE me.
>
> And let's not even get into the state of the world LOL that alone makes me wish I were dead
>
> I really wish I didn't care so much about the mess I'd leave behind. But I do. And I won't do anything to myself unless I've got everything in order and taken care of. And that includes my aging cat, who's totally dependent on me. We lost her sister in June and it near killed us both. But she pulled through and I won't leave her.
>
> so in the meantime, I just hope I somehow pull out of this nosedive.
>
> you're thinking of elanor - she takes adderall - I take focalin XR - I do have ADD (and I fought that diagnosis LOL but the meds do make a difference) I haven't found I've built up any tolerance but I need to "do" something to appreciate it and I'm living in an unstructured hell. Though it's what allows me to even post to this board. Otherwise I think I'd just be incapable of anything
>
> I seem to be stuck in that awful "frozen" state most of the time... it's literally driving me crazy! I'm so lost to myself
>
> anyway, sorry for whining - unfortunately it's about all I do these days - I may need to take a break from posting or emailing simply because I can't stand my own content
>
> I miss laughing... I really miss living
>
> thanks again for caring enough to post
>
> namaste,
> lilith
>
> > Sorry you're feeling so bad lilith but that is classical depressive thinking caused by your depression and when your depression lifts you will think positively as naturally as you think badly whilst depressed. Just try to never indulge in it and try to keep your humour and do things just to make yourself happy.
> >
> > Have you tried combination therapy?
> >
> > Mirtazapine + SSRI
> > Mirtazapine + wellbruin or others
> >
> > They seem to be significantly better, i am currently on mirtazapine + tianeptine and will give this another 4 or 5 weeks (making a total of 6 or 7weeks) before i try mirtazapine+ssri. The mirtazapine keeps my mood good but concentration is a problem. Does the adderall keep you with good concentration or do you bulid tolerance to attention improving effects?
> >
> >
> > > hi elanor
> > >
> > > it's SO frustrating, isn't it? Like you, I really had my hopes pinned on the tianeptine. But I will say it was at least a relief to discover they were most likely causing those intense mood swings - mad to sad to mad to sad to mad - ad nauseum
> > >
> > > I absolutely hate this... and then when I read the posts about how the medications themselves have probably contributed to how bad I am now, I tend to agree with them. I'd always gone off and on meds - usually because the side effects were awful - nothing really seemed to work and my depression seemed to have a life of its own - some years it wasn't there then boom!, it'd strike. But now I've been on them for over 5 years and I can honestly say I'm far worse than ever.
> > >
> > > Though I can't see myself going off the ADD meds - so basically all I'm taking right now is the focalin xr and klonopin.
> > >
> > > And I take a lot of supplements. Extra magnesium and a lot of vitamins, amino acids, stuff to help control cortisol levels etc
> > >
> > > I also just started some nootropics - piracetam & vinopectine - they supposedly enhance brain function and cognition. I have plenty of piracetam & I'll probably just use them both till they're finished. So far I don't feel anything. Still dumb as a rock LOL so I don't know if I'll re-order
> > >
> > > So like you, I guess I'm hoping if I can gain some functionality, I can at least feel a little better. As is it, I spend more time wishing I were dead, since it's all too apparent I don't know how to live and I'm so damn tired of this perpetual torture. I'm sick of watching myself go down the toilet
> > >
> > > I have considered re-introducing 100mg wellbutrin back into my afternoon meds but I don't know if it's worth it. I've also been wondering whether something like Aricept might help. Again, I'm thinking about functionality improving my mood because I'm at the point where I don't think they make a med that's going to improve my mood for me. I think I'm too immersed in 'depressive habits' and the truth is, without changing your behavior, nothing will really help. But it is one of those chicken & egg things. If my mood improved, would my behavior return to suuport it or am I so used to feeling awful, I wouldn't know how to act on it. I don't know anymore
> > >
> > > I'm so fed up trying to 'fix' myself. I know I need more structure... that alone would help. But instead, I spend each day frozen... sitting and rocking and freaking out because I can't take any steps forward.
> > >
> > > I apologize for how negative this post is. I'm sure you wished you'd never written now - ooohhhh.. that's self-pity for sure LOL I will say at least I've retained some small molecule of seeing just how ridiculous I've become and can occasionally step back and laugh at myself. For whatever that's worth :)
> > >
> > > what are you planning on trying next?
> > >
> > > I wish you well :))))))
> > >
> > > namaste,
> > > lilith
> > >
> > > > i'm sorry to hear you had the same problem with the tianeptine. the irritability was a nightmare and getting out of bed in the morning almost impossible. i thought it was the adderall but no. i was so hoping the tianeptine would work. i had even ordered more. for now i am working on the adderall and productivity. some people get by on the mood elevation for a while.
> > > >
> > > > what are you trying next?
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > hi elanor
> > > > >
> > > > > I started to write you when I first read this but then saw you were sick of thinking about your meds so I held off... but I decided I did want to tell you I seemed to have had a very similar experience with the tianeptine and I didn't realize that was probably causing it until I read your post.
> > > > >
> > > > > Like you I've noticed I've become REALLY easily angered or so overwhelmed I'll start crying. I was wondering what was doing it and never suspected the tianpetine considering what everyone else has reported. But I'm already so damn crazy I didn't appreciate suddenly losing it in public!!
> > > > >
> > > > > anyway, just wanted you to know I seemed to have had the same reaction to the drug.
> > > > >
> > > > > And yes, the depression is ever present!
> > > > >
> > > > > be well :)
> > > > >
> > > > > namaste,
> > > > > lilith
> > > > >
> > > > > > I just stopped the Tianeptine to see which, that or the Adderall had shortened my already too short fuse. I was getting argumentive and them teary at times. It was the Tianeptine for sure. I can't do that for 6 or 7 weeks waiting for an improvement.
> > > > > > I am doing well on the Adderall in many ways and I can laugh at times. But the depression is lurking.
> > > > > > Thinking about trying the Tianeptine at night. Gonna give it a bit of thought for a while. Need to get on with things besides figuring out my f*cking meds. Good luck to all.
> > > > >
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> > > >
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poster:dav
thread:728547
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070314/msgs/740964.html