Posted by needesp on October 26, 2005, at 8:55:59
In reply to just for the record... what would my diagnosis be?, posted by spriggy on October 24, 2005, at 15:57:11
> I know none of you can't actually "diagnose" me, don't worry. But you are all very intelligent and no quite a bit about psychiatric disorders so I figured it wouldn't hurt to get some opinions on what I *sound* like.
>
> Here are my symptoms:
>
> I will list them ranging from severity to less severe:
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> * Anxiety- I know this could mean ANYTHING but my anxiety tends to make me feel very uncomfortable.
> I don't want to sit still or have time to be quiet. I try to stay super busy so that I can avoid thinking too long and then getting obsessed over this feeling. If I sit and think about it, I feel as if I could go crazy. It's hard to describe. Bare with me.
>
> * racing thoughts- my thoughts feel mumbbled together- once again, hard to describe. It's almost as if my brain/thoughts were a ferris wheel and instead of spinning nice and slow, it goes faster and faster and faster and faster.
>
> I find myself telling myself " slllooooow down your thoughts."
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> * Derealization: This is occasional but when it comes, it is most severe. I feel as if I'm not really "here" or like this is all a dream. It's as if I am disappearing and even things around look different. I can only describe this as what I imagine an acid trip to feel like.
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> *Shame/guilt- this hits me like a ton of bricks. I find myself feeling SO unworthy of everything. I feel like I'm a failure, especially as a mother. I think of all the things I should do/be and find myself crying out of despair.
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> * Constant thoughts of death; not really "suicide" but death in general. When I'm in this state, I become nearly obsessed with dying/death, etc.. I sometimes pray for it; long for it, etc.. but do not consider actually doing it myself. I've only been suicidal when on SSRI's.
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> * Depression possibly? I don't know if this is depression or not- I had such a severe, crippling depression that maybe because I'm comparing it to THAT, I don't realize that's what THIS is.
>
> I find myself looking forward to sleep. I stay just as busy (but only to preoccupy my mind) but on the inside, I'd rather just sleep all the time. Sometimes, I find that I take a cap full of Nyquil just to "escape" and sleep. (at bedtime). I have a fear of laying there, in the dark, wide awake with just my thoughts racing so I'd rather knock myself on Nyquil.
>
>
> My family history is a father with bipolar (and his mother was also bp). My mother has GAD and is neurotic (is that a mental condition?ROFL).
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> I've had panic attacks sporadically, general anxiety for nearly a year, off and on mild depression (but I honestly think my depression is coming from the constant anxiety).
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> I had a regular gp who thought I was possibly bipolar becuase of my reaction to Lexapro but when I was seen by a psychiatrist, the psych said it was merely akathasia and said, " You have no mental condition."
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> I honestly feel like I'm not normal. I can't imagine that "normal" people struggle CONSTANTLY with their thoughts and trying to feel/be normal like this.
>
> But I hesitate to think I'm bipolar because I see no similarities between me and my dad/grandmother. I don't have high high's and low low's. Mine is pretty consistent. Occasionally, I feel "normal" but for the most part, this has been my general state for almost a year.
>
> I won't bring up my health conditions because that complicates things but I wanted to share my mental state and see if anyone has a clue what this is.
>
>Possibly OCD as the primary diagnosis and anxiety and depression are associated or secondary to the OCD.
1. the anxiety you speak of is associated with the OCD symptoms of 'inability to sit still' and the 'fear of intrusive thoughts'
2. racing thoughts "ferris wheel" is possibly the typical loop of intrusive thoughts common in the Obsessive part of OCD also
3. Derealisation (?depersonalisation is very common when OCD is severe)
4. Shame and guilt (wayyyyy typical of OCD - but also of MDD)
5. The thoughts of death are also very often associated with the obsessive side of OCD i.e. violent intrusive thoughts that are not the real you.
6. you know what real depression is and therefore what you are feeling is more a symptom of enduring the other symptoms and the desire to sleep and escape your thoughts is again typical of OCD.BUT generally with OCD there will be some attempts made to alleviate the feelings/thoughts with compulsions or rtuals of behaviour (however not always!)
I'm biased to OCD as I have watched my son endure severe OCD and he has described all your symptoms but he also had (depending on the obsession) rituals of exhausting behaviour that he would go through to alleviate the obsessive thoughts scenarios.
poster:needesp
thread:571455
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051024/msgs/572034.html