Posted by Keko on November 6, 2004, at 14:54:15
Been on SSRIs for 10 years, and first time I'm off them, so I desparately need your input/support.
Can't stand myself, and I'm secluding myself from others so they don't have to deal with me either! I'm like a cat caught out in an electric storm--every hair (nerve) feels like its standing up on end whenever I encounter the slightest bit of stress. Can't stand in lines, and I get that dizzy/spacey, off-balance feeling I used to get w. panic attacks in public places (not because of anxiety--but there's something about standing in line and being in public places that causes a focusing problem w. an off-balance feeling). Two days ago, I felt like my brain was doing spasms (like contracting), sort of like brain-heartbeats (no, I don't think those were brain zaps, were they? Didn't feel like electrical shocks, just brain spasms).
My irritating nature is rubbing off on others--I've been moved to tears whenever frustrated and want to (and privately do) throw things--slipped on wet pavement in heavy traffic, almost got run over, mixed up my appointments--called my stockbroker 5 times yesterday, because I kept getting mixed up, or suddenly remembered *one more thing* -- it's like I have ADD with irritability, and then when I'm alone I SCREAM (really)!
I tapered down very slowly over the past 2 months from Lexapro, so is this happening because I withdrew from SSRIS and my brain is adjusting, or the *real me* as so many here ask. I tapered all the way down to l/8 of lowest dose Lexapro (only 1.25mg of a 10mg tablet). However, right after I went off it, I got some really bad, shocking news that a close friend of mine died from liver cancer (yes, both sudden news and shocking). I was distraught (and yes, felt my feelings strongly for the first time in years, as though someone just removed condoms from my brain cells). I've been taking ativan or valium in between just to keep myself from going back on an SSRI. I want to feel like *me* again, but today I am so tired as well as irritable. I've been fatigued for so long--beautiful out, but too tired and irritable to go outside.
Pdoc wanted me to switch from to Zoloft when I went off Lexapro, but I didn't. It's sitting on the kitchen counter. But I decided to experiment* and find the *real me* again while he went away on vacation, hoping that maybe I could toss away the SSRIs. But again--this *raw me* is terrible . . . my nerves often do feel like that of a cat caught out in an electric storm, with the slightest bit of stress zapping those nerves.
Because Lexapro was too activating (got me hyper/manic/irritable), and Celexa was too sedating (because it effects the histamine receptors), we decided on Zoloft(because it was familiar to me).
But, yes, I'm scared and feel defeated. What do I do? Will the irritation pass? I have such a low tolerance for frustration that I was snapping at everyone the other day, and I'm really such a nice person.
So, suggestions? Throw in the towel and start on Zoloft? I don't want S/E's, so maybe start at 12.5mg? Sorry if this isn't the most succinct and easy to read message--like I said, I have low tolerance for frustration, feeling ADDish.
poster:Keko
thread:412608
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041103/msgs/412608.html