Posted by jerrympls on September 3, 2004, at 19:33:21
In reply to Re: Thanks all - I'm done., posted by Racer on September 3, 2004, at 12:42:53
You all have brought tears to my eyes.....you have posted such from-the-heart words I'm somewhat speechless. I never thought anyone would even care about my post. I mean, my parents haven't even called or responded.
I've been so full of anger...I have a job and have frustrated my supervisors to no end with absences, etc. They are trying to be accommodating, but I've been forever deemed "unreliable." I have a counselor through our Disability Services office and he helps a lot. But our Chief of Staff has told me "I have no sympathy for you....but we'll try to accommodate your disability." She used to talk to me and joke and laugh - now she ignores me and talks to other managers about me behind my back. I've found proof that others below me have received monetary merit awards and pay increases - whereas I have recieved one slight pay increase in the 3 years I've worked there.
I also found out that some of my fellow co-workers have been asking my manager why I'm out so much and if I'm getting special treatment. FORTUNATELY my manager is a GREAT guy and beats them off with a stick. but to know that people are talking about you behind your back and then acting all friendly to my face - it's disgusting and angers me to no end.
What set me off was that my chief of staff wants to put me in a position where I wouldn't be relied upon....in a corner doing data entry or something - whereas now I'm head of IT support for our dept. She basically wants me out of sight and out of mind.
She's horribly passive-agressive and unapproachable. I never thought I would feel such hate towards a person...I'm not like that...but I thought when I disclosed to her about my illness that she would be an advocate - she even disclosed that she has an anxiety disorder and her sister has treatment-resistant depression!!!!
On top of that, my only two friends stopped calling/returning calls/emails a year ago - they just stopped. They were very cool and understanding about my illness and then turned their back on me.
So I live a solitary life. Alone...angry..frustrated...with nothing to look forward to. Yes, I do have a wonderful therapist who I am now going to start seeing twice a week. But still...so much anger in me....so much
How do I stop the anger? How do I leave work AT work? How?
Please answer...
Thank you all
Jerry
poster:jerrympls
thread:385815
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040830/msgs/386171.html