Posted by utopizen on January 6, 2004, at 20:49:05
In reply to Re: Can't eat ANYTHING with stims- what to do?, posted by stjames on January 6, 2004, at 19:56:02
No, I've lived off of soy shakes, force feeding, etc.
I've done it so long, I've gotten use to it. I may be more sensitive now b/c I have just went off a mini drug holiday, 2 weeks off of school. But still, this isn't human. I remember when I was on a low dose of Seroquel (idiot p-doc I saw out-of-state gave it to me for insomnia, or so she told me) I remember that I could actually feel hungry when I was suppose to, not hate food, and I didn't have amphetamine-induced penile shrinkage (that's the most tactful I get).
I also remember feeling wonderfully hungry on a low dose of Abilify. I got restlessness, but I'm sure that would go away if I took Klonopin, which I now finally take. I tried taking some Neurontin back then, and remember it relieving it.
Problem is, I want to stop feeling all these bad feelings all at once, and I know that that's not likely going to happen because docs like adding one drug at a time. I'm still titrating up with Xyrem, but I really need Ambien to go with it or else I don't sleep at all, and then what's the point of taking a narcolepsy med like Xyrem or using a $2500 BiPap machine for my sleep apnea if I can't even sleep?
I'm finally seeing a pdoc in his private practice, out of pocket. I put it off last spring thinking I could get away with seeing a hospital doc, but there's a reason why this doc, unlike any other doc in his hospital's psychopharmacology unit, was accepting new patients. He doesn't return phone calls. Ever. If you're lucky, 1/20 times he'll pick up. I can't deal with that anymore, my life isn't easy, and my grades are affected when I can't sleep just because he's too lazy to call in for some Ambien.
Oh, and another thing, I get methamphetamine and GHB (Desoxyn and Xyrem) prescribed by this doc, but I mention I have trouble sleeping, and I get funny looks. Ambien isn't even conclusively proven to be habit forming, unless you're including the possibility that the patient will get into the habit of actually sleeping on a regular basis. God forbid that ever happens!
Yes, sleeping aides ARE habit forming, because sleep is something you need to do every night. God, what's wrong with people? There's worse things to get addicted to than regular sleeping patterns. If I can be trusted with meth and GHB, I should be able to have simple sleeping pill that often won't even work anymore.
To be honest, I'm afraid to ever tell docs that I have insomnia, because they treat you like you're too stupid to know how to sleep and barrage you with these ridiculious questions that insult your intelligence.But I don't care anymore, I have narcolepsy, and any doc who has a clue about it knows that it's common to have insomnia associated with it. Xyrem had to be tested for its safety when combined with Ambien just because so many narcoleptics have to take a sleeping aide.
It's silly, I would take the 1mg 3x/day Klonopin a lot of times, not use it during the day, and take it all at once at night (anything less wouldn't put me to sleep). I'd get lighter sleep, and be groggy the next day, but it was still sleep.
But I don't know why I feel like I have to act like a drug addict and make these ellaborate schemes just to go to sleep. I'm not trying to get high, I'm trying to be human.
poster:utopizen
thread:297365
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040105/msgs/297397.html