Posted by Lyrical13 on December 24, 2003, at 8:24:26
In reply to Re: Lamictal for BPII -and no anxiety meds, posted by Tony P on December 24, 2003, at 0:57:19
> I sometimes think we who are mostly depressed, when we finally experience life as others do day-by-day, think (mistakenly) it is euphoria or hypomania because it is so different from our normal everyday state!I know what you mean. Last spring when I was feeling so wonderful I didn't know if what I was feeling was "normal" or manic. It had been so long since I felt good that I had no barometer. I remember saying to my husband "I forgot what happy felt like". I think that's part of the reason it has taken so long to figure out this BP2 thing. BP has been in the back of my mind for several years, but I didn't even know BP2 existed until a month ago. I kept thinking that I couldn't be BP because I didn't go into a full blown mania. And my old doc actually reinforced that belief....when I brought up my concerns last spring, he said it sounded like I was hypomanic but he basically blew it off. He said if we medicated everyone who was hypomanic that we'd be medicating half of America. So I thought I was OK...no big deal. Now that my new pdoc is telling me about BP2 on the one hand, I'm pissed at the old pdoc because I could have been getting help for this sooner. Not to mention the fact that NO ONE has really explained depression to me until this new doc. He was amazed that no one had explained about the recommended treatment for chronic major depression (meds and counseling...which basically I had been getting, but when I felt good, we d/c'd tx for a while until I had trouble again. He said I should be in counseling all the time...just when I felt good it wouldn't be as frequent) Then he explained about my type of depression needing more than one med to do the trick. He gave me all the information on the various ways to augment the AD (which admittedly was info overload at the time) and then said "What do you want to do?" I had been given choices before... but I was only told a couple different meds and a very brief Q&A about side effects, benefits, etc.
The other thing I'm feeling about the BP2 thing is relief. I don't really want to be BP...it sounds more "crazy" doesn't it? So many people are on meds for anxiety and/or depression that it's starting to be accepted. But BP is still murky territory. There isn't as much of an awareness about what it really is. I read an article online about the new thinking re: mood disorders...that it's more of a spectrum disorder. That makes sense to me. At one end of the spectrum you have major depression. At the other end you have full blown mania. The various other dx'es are in between with the BPs somewhere near middle. For me, I'm more towards the depressed end with just a tidbit of mania which translates into hypomania.
Well, I thought this was going to be a short post this time, but I guess not! I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better. The stress of the holidas doesn't help but I'm holding my own. I feel better than I've felt in a long time at this time of the year. I'm a little miffed at my stepmom but that's nothing new (they get a real Christmas tree even though they know that I am deathly allergic to the thing. That's nothing new. But she actually sounded surprised that we're not coming over on Christmas Eve. I haven't gone over there for Christmas Eve in years because of the damn tree. I decided it wasn't worth it. I get sinus infections, bronchitis, you name it from being around it. Why should I have to be sick for 2 weeks? So I don't go over there now and I invite them to my place after Christmas. She actually sounded pissed when I asked when she wanted to do our gift exchange. She's the one that continues to choose to get the real tree. If I had a relative that was this allergic to trees, I would buy a fake one. In fact, my husband's family, after we had only been dating a year, went out and bought a fake tree. They love the cutting down the tree and the smell of it, etc etc just as much as my step-mom but it's more important to them that I am able to be there and enjoy myself. Hello! It really says something when virtual strangers are kinder to you than your own family. In fact, not only do they get a real tree every year, this started when I was still living at my dad's house. I've been allergic to Christmas trees since 6th grade (I'm now 34). They used to have a fake tree. Then one year she brought in an 8 foot pine. I said, "What are you trying to do? Kill me?" She actually said that she thought since the cedar chips in the guinea pig cage didn't bother me that the tree wouldnt' be a big deal. Everyone knows that it's more than a case of the sniffles for me. ONe year she had a sinus infection and was complaining about how miserable she felt for 2 weeks. I said that was how I felt after being around a Christmas tree....
I'm already all plugged up and having sinus headaches because I was over at their house for a total of about a 1/2 hour on Thursday when I went to pick up my little sister. And there's not much I can take. I can't take any decongestants because they all have pseudophedrine in them and that hypes me up. I take guafenisin to thin out the "goop" and drink lots of water. But even that is a problem because I'm already dried out from the other handful of meds I'm taking.
Anyway, sorry to get off on a rant about that. But thanks for listening! (not that you had a choice :) Well, I guess you could have just stopped reading....
Have a good holiday
take care
Lyrical13
poster:Lyrical13
thread:292242
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031219/msgs/293085.html