Posted by Else on October 9, 2001, at 20:48:56
Now even my very conservative doc has agreed that it is "very likely" that I have ADD. Not likely enough that he would prescribe a controlled substance but I'll get to him next time, whatever it takes. I am on 3mg Klonopin daily now. This man had once said he would never prescribe benzos for me. My case is not desperate.
But things are falling apart. I can't hold a job. I can't do well enough during a ten week internship that they would pick me over a new employee for a part-time, week-end job which I need badly. They would rather train somebody else then keep me after ten weeks. I love that. I am THAT good.
Plus,today, some troll I had a crush on publicly humiliated me, saying I "talked like a machine" (?) that "the world didn't revolve around me" (duh) and that he didn't give a s**t what I had to say. Very nice.
I am not trying to draw attention to myself. This is a very wrong impression. When a idea pops into my mind I just have to say it. I'm like that. Is this ADD? Is this why people hate me or treat me like a buffoon? I was so hurt. This troll is friendly to everyone except me. Why do I still get picked on at 26 ? What the f**k is wrong with me? Why am I so objectionable for Christ's sake? Why do people hate me so much. Not everyone. But a lot of people either subtly disrespect or outright insult me and I don't know why? What am I doing wrong? I is me who is just plain wrong and defective? I need help badly. I can't take this anymore. I know I complain a lot a contribute very little. I have been preoccupied recently and have not had much time for PB. In any event, has anyone been through this? I took 6 x 30mg Serax pills this evening,I want to sleep until this is over, I don't want to go back there. I don't want to go back ever. Why are people so mean to me? I know I sound childish and whiny but I am really hurt. These comments are what hurt me the most, they make me feel like a freak who doesn't belong here or anywhere. What is wrong?
poster:Else
thread:80808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011007/msgs/80808.html