Posted by Jennifer on August 3, 2000, at 3:34:06
In reply to Some questions for everyone about depression, posted by Rach on July 31, 2000, at 0:46:53
Rach, Just when I was trying to train myself to get to bed at a decent hour, I read your thought provoking set of questions!
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> 1. Do you believe your depression is biologically based or more mentally based?
> > Biologically. We are such complex individuals. Is there really a difference between mental and biological? We have the ability to become all that we are from the point of conception. This includes your mental perspective on things. I do believe a poor mental attitude can make depression worse by further altering the chemical imbalance...but the imbalance already has the ability to present itself.
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> 2. Do you take medications &/or have counselling?
> > DRUGS! I love my Nardil, and of course an occassional xanax never hurt. I hate counseling. Hate it, hate it, hate it. That's when someone who knows NOTHING about me, and has never experienced what I have thinks they can offer me advice. Or better yet they have you "talk" so that you can put any crappy stuff right to the forefront of your mind again! I don't linger on bad things, I move on.
> 3. Have you geared your treatment towards what you base your depression on?
> > Yes, I guess. One day I was to the left of the bell curve, the next I was to the right. What happened? My little bucket of psychological tolerance that we are all given at birth just ran out. No matter what I tried, I couldn't get it back over 1/4 tank. So, meds it is. When the meds are gone, so is the buffer zone of sanity.
> 4. If you believe your depression is more mentally based, what events/actions etc. contributed to your depression?
> > Well, I think it's biologically based, but I know just when my tank dipped to low. It was when I was told my daughter would die in the next 24 hours. I absolutely couldn't handle it. I need to be in control, and I had no control over a situation that meant more than anything to me. It was the sort of thing where you couldn't even give up your own life to change the circumstances. My bucket ran dry. Why didn't it go back up? She lived. Sounds crazy, but she is at high risk for sudden death, and I live everyday wondering if this is the day. I ignore it. I work around it. For heavens sake, she just mastered doing front flips off a trampoline and she's on blood thinner's! Why? Because life goes on, and if you continually try to control it, you'll drive yourself crazy (I'm proof).
> 5. Do you have any blood-relatives with depression?
> >I think my grandma might have, but she's long gone. I'm the only insane one around.
> 6. Do you believe in 'recovery', or do believe in 'remission' (or both)?
> > Remission. You can't recover from something that always has the potential to be there biologically. Only if they completely mastered the human mind and could run one perfectly on chemicals would recovery be possible. But then again, that would be "assissted recovery".
> 7. Do you believe you will recover/remiss? (is that the right term?)I believe I will go into remission. When things aren't as uncertain on a day to day basis. It's been 11 years now though, so I don't know when. I don't listen to them anymore when they say "this is the year for open heart" or whatever. I believe and know what is being done when we are in front of the person doing it. Never beforehand.
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> That'll do, I think. Thanks!!
> R
Thanks to you Rach. Please give us a synopsis of your overall group results!
poster:Jennifer
thread:41827
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000729/msgs/42073.html