Posted by me-but-not-me on June 5, 2000, at 18:38:33
Hello all,
I am facing possible hospitalization and have been putting off seeking treatment because I don't know what to expect. I think it will be voluntary, but- if they ask me about suicidal ideations and I am honest & say 'yes', I don't want them to be able to commit me... I realize my fears my be unfounded but I have no idea what to expect.
I have been just getting meds from my GP, and since I am in the healthcare field he gives me pretty much whatever I want. I have been managing my own meds for about a year now, and I am tired of it. I can't wait 4 weeks for a psych and med eval from a psychiatrist, and the thought of having to look for one again overwhelms me to the point that I can't do it.
Suicide had ceased to be an option for a while in my mind, but now it's back. Not that I think I'll do it tonight or anything, but- I know just how I would do it, and all I can think about is the peace that would follow after all of 'this' stopped. You know what I mean. At least I think you do.
I am worried enough to seek help since I have really specific details worked out in my plan. Though I have no desire to do it right now, it will look like a better and better option the longer this goes on. I am really just fed up with everything.
Anyway, if you have been in the hospital please let me know what to expect. I am not violent, in fact I am quite catatonic, so I don't expect to be restrained or anything. I am just worried that they will see the scars on my arms from cutting and with the suicide ideation, they will just lock me up. I may be being totally irrational about this, but I have to arrange for someone to come into my garbage dump of an apartment and feed the cats, etc...
What happens to you? I assume a battery of blood tests are performed and also a psych and med eval. Anything else? How long is an average stay? Do you have freedom of movement, can you have a visitor, do you wear your own clothes? These may seem like silly questions, but I am terrified... both of going and of not going. Dammit I am so tired of this never-ending cycle...
poster:me-but-not-me
thread:36182
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000603/msgs/36182.html