Posted by Sean on May 21, 1999, at 14:44:21
In reply to depressed about being depressed, posted by Jeff on May 20, 1999, at 23:40:19
> Hello...
> Several years ago (I'm 28 now) I began taking Wellbutrin primarily for nicotine withdrawl (I had been using chewing tobacco since I was 16 as self-med for ADD, and had to quit immediately to maintain oral health). It became clear that I was also depressed at the time because I felt so much better about everything. Mostly, I had been feeling debilitatingly mentally and emotionally exhausted after five difficult years after college. Mostly, I have displayed the symptoms of the unoffical "Atypical depression", with my mood mirroring my life situation very closely, and the ADD which has always been there. The worst it had ever been for me was truly wanting to commit suicide but knowing that I couldn't do it.
>
> Recently, Wellbutrin has been "pooping out". Of all things, I am feeling the worst about the fact that I am depressed in the first place. My doctor has suggested switching to Effexor, but after reading some of the horror stories here, I don't think I will try it. I was thinking about Serzone, any others on this?
>
> Also, I was wondering what others' experiences have been regarding the stigma of depression and/or ADD? Recently, I met this woman and it felt so right that I thought I might have finally found "the one". It became apparent that this was probably not the case before I told her that I was on medication, but I did tell her before we broke it off, and it was obvious that it negatively affected how she felt about me. Since then I have been consumed with anxiety about what to do about this the next time I meet someone. Is it OK to keep it a secret until the relationship is mature enough to handle it? Or would that be immoral or unethical, springing something like that on someone once they are fully invested? Should I look for someone who is also depressed or is that not a good idea? I have no idea how I would manage to go on if someone rejected me for only that. Surely the thought that if they did so they probably weren't worth it anyway would be of little consolation.
>
> I read a study that revealed that 50% of the spouses of depressed people said they would not have married that person had they known they were going to have a mental disorder.
>
> What have been everyone else's experiences?Boy can I relate... I think we need to forgive
ourselves for having depression or any other kind
of disorder. I've spent a great deal of time just
coming to terms or accepting that my brain was not
exactly normal. On the other hand, I have made
many new friends who have similar stories and I
feel a certain kinship with them which makes our
friendship stronger. I am also an artist, and I
have found that most people in the art community
are very accepting of mood disorders.So I guess I would put persons who were not accepting
in the same class as those who would not marry a
person who had, say, a limp; I'm not sure I would
want to be with such a person.When you deal with the struggle of depression,
the ups and downs over the years, and you hang on
through pain which I am convinved most normal
people just do not get, there must be some kind
of strength of character that emerges, even if we
cannot see it ourselves. Sometimes I can read this
between the lines of persons who post messages at
this sight, and I am touched by their strength and
courage.I think a lover who does not see this is missing
out on something very important.Sean.
poster:Sean
thread:6338
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990501/msgs/6357.html